(230) Weight changes (Intuitive Eating Series)

Have you heard Intuitive Eating can help you lose weight if you do it right? Blech. NO. I know you’ve heard that yet it is sooooo off. That advice is steering you in the direction away from Food Peace. I want to help you get back on track. Listen to latest Love Food Podcast for insight.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

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Dear Food,

I have been trying to make things right with you for a while now. I’ve been exploring intuitive eating for the last year, and we’ve had some successful moments together. Remember when I wasn’t able to keep ice cream in the house? Now I have multiple containers, which I eat when I’m in the mood and don’t think about when I’m not. That’s something I feel proud of. 
I still make mistakes when it comes to our relationship – I know there are times I eat past fullness, and there are times I eat when I’m not hungry. I am trying to be as compassionate as I can with myself, but then l I see myself in a mirror. 
I threw away my scale in October, and haven’t been on one since. But it’s pretty obvious I have gained weight. Mostt of my old clothes don’t fit, and getting ready for work and social events is fraught with anxiety. I have bought things in new sizes,  but  I cannot shake the awful feelings that almost paralyze me when I see myself.
I was not somebody who needed to be weight restored. What I feared would happen, happened. I gained weight. I always thought that if I binged less and practiced intuitive eating that I would somehow magically become thin. That didn’t happen for me. I know I can’t go back to dieting, but I also can’t seem to accept myself this way.
I know about body positivity, HAES, and fat acceptance, but I can’t seem to get there. Forget about body love – I’d be happy with body neutrality. It seems impossible for me to love my body at this weight when I know look better thinner.
 I don’t know what to do about us, Food. I will not diet again, but I second guess my choices a lot. Even when I hear experts talk about intuitive eating, they always say things like, “Don’t worry – you won’t always want to eat Oreos or pizza” as if those foods truly are bad. I  want to give myself freedom to eat whatever I want, but in exchange, I hate how I look. 
Where do we go from here, Food? 
Love,

Feeling like a failure

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

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(229) I weighed myself and…(Intuitive Eating Series)

So you weighed yourself and well, shit, all the rainbows and unicorns from your Intuitive Eating Honeymoon are in the crapper. What the hell happened? Just getting on the scale, seeing a scale, or thinking of stepping on a scale is enough for your brain to connect with your dieting trauma. Let’s pull up a chair and sift through this on the latest Love Food Podcast episode.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

After a lifetime of eating, bingeing, and restricting, I finally felt like I needed to shift the way we exist in the world together. I’ve loved you, feared you, needed you, and abused you. We were in need of couples therapy. Luckily, I found a great podcast that was all about you! After binge listening to the Love Food Podcast, I was inspired to explore intuitive eating. For the last month, I’ve immersed myself into the intuitive eating/body positive culture by reading and investigating different books, blogs, etc. What I learned felt right, and I started to implement the tenets of intuitive eating. We had a great two week honeymoon, where I wasn’t anxious about dining out and I allowed myself to eat what I truly craved. I was also vigilant about stopping before I got too full. It was pretty amazing to learn how little I actually needed to feel satisfied. Things were going great until I did something stupid. I stepped on the scale. Yes, I know the experts said you can’t diet and practice intuitive eating at the same time. But, my old compulsion got the best of me. So I weighed myself and it turns out I lost a few pounds. Almost effortlessly. And that’s where I derailed. Since finding out I’ve lost some weight, I’ve been bingeing and restricting again! It’s the same thing I would do when I used to diet. Lose a little, and then eat my way back up the scale. What am I doing??? I can’t seem to find the intuitive path again. Every day I try, but end up bingeing by the end of the day. How did I get here again? I was feeling so empowered and free just a couple of weeks ago, and now I’m feeling defeated and fat all over again. I somehow turned  intuitive eating into another diet gone wrong. Food, I want to get us on the right path again but I’m not sure how.
Love,

Intuitive Saboteur

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(228) I still want to lose weight (Intuitive Eating Series with Kirsten Ackerman)

Have you been walking your Food Peace Journey™️ for awhile singing anti-diet praises yet suffer in secret? Do you call yourself body positive yet find yourself fantasizing about losing weight? This is an isolating space yet you are not alone. We have options to explore. Listen as guest expert Kirsten Ackerman describes ways to navigate this part of your Food Peace Journey.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

I feel like an imposter with you and with intuitive eating. I feel that I’m not truly anti-diet, truly in recovery for binge eating and anorexia, or that I am really past all the dieting. My relationship with you has been unstable since I was five. I remember being highly aware of my body at such a young age and knowing I was larger than everyone. So I started to diet. And the dieting cycle didn’t stop until two years ago when I found intuitive eating. I’ve worked so hard to unlearn my internalized fatphobia and diet culture that was ingrained in me from such a young age. But everyday I feel like I’m faking it. I tell myself that I don’t want to be skinny, but I do. I tell myself I dont want to diet anymore, but I do. I tell myself that calories and carbs count isn’t important, but I find myself still glancing at the nutrition facts on food labels. What if I’m not meant for intuitive eating? What if dieting is the only way I can manage my PCOS and my weight? And even as I say this to you, food, I know it’s not the truth. I know that dieting is a short term solution and that it will do more harm than good. But sometimes working against the system is so difficult. I constantly have coworkers, friends, and family that are so deep into diet culture that it’s easy to get sucked back into it. 
And then of course there’s the PCOS. There is so much misinformation about how to manage my symptoms with PCOS and much of the time it’s diet related. I want to be fully free with you, food. I want to truly feel free from diet culture and know that I am a good person, regardless of the food I consume. But it’s so tough. I know that nutritious foods feel so good in my body and that less nutritious foods exacerbate my PCOS symptoms. And in my mind that means I can only eat “healthy” and that I can’t have ice cream if I want it. That the moment I eat something, it will make or break my PCOS management skills. That I will do too much damage that can’t be undone. So what do I do, food? How do I feel free with you? Because I am an imposter, a sham, and I’m afraid that someone will realize that I’m not as anti-diet as I make myself out to be. 
Thanks for listening,

The Perfectionist

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(227) I can’t stop eating (Intuitive Eating Series with Evelyn Tribole)

Ever feel like intuitive eating is not for you? Think it is taking way too long and you are still stuck in a cycle of rebellious eating and body hate? We don’t think you are doing it wrong. Listen to the latest Love Food Podcast with Intuitive Eating co-author Evelyn Tribole as we sort through next steps.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

I’ve been struggling with you for almost my entire life.  When I was little I remember watching my Dad go on diet after diet and rigidly refusing to go up a pant size.  It looked so miserable but I also wanted to be like him.  I also knew (from what my parents had told me) that I was getting fat.  So when I was 8, I went on my first diet and began counting calories.  Later, around age 15, I began to reject dieting and wanted to relax and eat what I wanted.  This made my parents uncomfortable and eventually they began to mandate that I diet and exercise.  I began to sneak you up to my bedroom and eat you in the middle of the night.  I was riddled with shame, guilt, and self-hatred.  Even when I was outside of my parent’s control, I carried their voices of judgment with me and continued dieting throughout most of my adult life.  
Now I’m 31 and I’ve tried so hard to redefine my relationship with you and my body.  I’ve seen a counselor and nutritionist who come from an intuitive eating approach.  I was fortunate enough to be part of a 10-week intuitive eating group and I loved it!  But a job change caused me to move away from those resources and now I feel stuck.  I’m heavier than I’ve ever been in my entire life and I’m so ashamed of my body.  I don’t even recognize myself when I look in the mirror.  While the dream of being smaller is still tempting, the thought of dieting repulses me.  I know dieting isn’t the answer, but I can’t seem to get the hang of intuitive eating.  I feel like I’m making zero progress on my journey to food peace.  
Often I still feel like that rebellious teenager who would overeat (whether it made her feel good or not) just to spite her parents.  I still want to lose weight but I know that intuitive eating isn’t suppose to be about that.  How do I stop the incessant desire to be smaller when it’s been a part of my life for so long?  
I’m also feeling scared because sometimes listening to my body and choosing to stop eating when I’m full/satisfied or not eat something because my inner wisdom is telling me that I don’t truly want it reminds me of the rules and restrictions I lived under for so long.  Intellectually I know that responding to my body and inner wisdom is different than dieting.  But emotionally they sometimes feel the same.  Eventually I end up still engaging in rebellious eating even though I’m not sure what/who I’m rebelling against.  Then I feel like I’ve fallen off track and give up and shame takes over.  I know this is a diet mentality but I can’t seem to shake it!  I’m not sure how to interrupt this cycle and stop thinking of intuitive eating through this dieting lens.  I want to move forward in my food and body peace journey but I’m not sure how to get past this hurtle.  I just want to find peace with you and my body but I’m not sure what the next step should be.  
Love,
Stuck In The Cycle

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(226) How do I live with body changes? (PCOS series with Shira Rosenbluth)

We are concluding the PCOS podcast series with a letter from someone moving along their Food Peace Journey in a different body. Things feel different–they can’t cross their legs and breathe differently. Therapist and fashion blogger Shira Rosenbluth joins as a guest expert to share her clinical wisdom and lived experience in her own recovery–both that will give you insight on your path.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by The Eating Disorder Trap book and podcast by Robyn Goldberg.

It is likely you have a close friend, client or loved one who is currently struggling with an eating disorder. Do you feel lost in a deluge of information? Are you unsure who to trust? Let this book be your guide.

Written by an expert with over twenty years of experience in the field of eating disorders, this book will give you the facts in a friendly and easy to read format. Get to know what you are dealing with and how it is taking a toll on your body and quality of life. Get rid of the myths “diet culture” has had you believe. Find out where to go and who to turn to for expert and compassionate care, maximizing your potential for recovery. A useful, inviting and all inclusive guide to eating disorders.

Also be sure to tune in to The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast, an expansive support and resource system for people struggling with eating disorders. This podcast is for clients, clinicians and anyone who wants to be able to support someone who is struggling.

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Dear Food: 

Are you feeling as numb as I am right now after our years’ long fighting bout against each other? Numb but also a peace and calm in our relationship since we called this truce and I decided not to be afraid of you anymore. And while that absence of fear brings an empowerment, it has also left me confused. Throw in PCOS and hypothyroidism and my confusion doubles. Because I still feel like I need to lose weight. I don’t have crazy aspirations. I recognize I will not ever be society’s definition of “skinny.” And I’m okay with that. I’ve always been okay with that. What I’m not okay with is the physical limitations being fat brings to my life. I don’t like that my bra cuts into my skin. I don’t like not being able to breathe when I bend over. I don’t like the battle it has suddenly become to cross my legs. One day I could do it and the next day I couldn’t! Okay, maybe it wasn’t that drastic of a change but it felt that way. In the past, I have limited you from my life when these physical queues surface and it’s worked. But it’s never worked long term and I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do that anymore. But I do want to do things like cross my legs, not to look pretty or demure or because that’s how people think women should sit but because I want to be able to have that physical ability. I want to be physically able! I don’t want to be “skinny” or fit into a certain size dress. I just want to lose weight to avoid physical limitations. Isn’t that a good thing? So food I feel you and I are in the “well, now what” phase of our relationship. It’s as if we just broke up and are trying to navigate how to just be friends. And I don’t quite know how that’s done. 
Hoping for the best,
Just friends

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!