(222) Season 4 Finale!

As we finish up Love Food Season 4, consider what parts of your Food Peace Journey™️ you can unravel and which are not your burden to carry. We must Rally together to free all bodies and no matter what, no one can take away the steps you’ve taken on your Food Peace Journey so far. Listen to the this latest episode and stick around to the end for a special announcement!

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. 

Do you own a social justice informed and fat positive business? I would love to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Get all the details here.

Dear Wonderful, Delightful, Complicated Food: 


We’ve had a long relationship of valleys and peaks, and after a long time, I finally feel like we are at a pleasant plateau. I’m no longer caught up in the very restrictive behaviors of anorexia that I experienced when I struggled to control other aspects of my life. I recognize that sometimes, my body needs more of you, and I am usually able to eat without feeling overwhelmed by grief and negative thoughts. My husband is kind, loving, and better than anything I thought possible. 
And yet, I am very aware that plateaus have boundaries, and I am afraid that in this case, the boundary is a cliff, mostly related to aging. I have almost always been in a fat body, but about seven years ago, through severe restriction, I was small enough to shop in straight-sized stores for the first time since I was a freshman in high school. As nice as the compliments were, I was harming myself, and my relationship with you. While my therapist was outstanding in helping me build the strength to leave an abusive situation, he encouraged my weight loss. 
Leaving abuse meant a new career, and while I never planned to be in healthcare, that is where I find myself. I work in long-term care, and every day, I listen to the fatphobic opinions of the medical community. In the last five years, I have regained all the weight I lost, and more. At work, I am always the fattest person in the room. I try to tune out water cooler discussions of their personal diets, but when we discuss patient health, I am overwhelmed. Two patients can have generally equal diagnoses, symptoms, and test results, but if one is fat, their situation is blamed on their weight, and pain is nearly always reduced to “if they would lose X pounds, they wouldn’t be in pain.” I have also had some health setbacks in these recent years. I am now disabled and experience chronic pain. I was finally diagnosed with PCOS after 26 years since my first period, and I had to stop the medication that helped regulate it because of potentially deadly side effects. I know that because of PCOS, my food needs are different from others, and that I experience hunger, fullness, and cravings differently. 
Food, I am afraid that when I am older and need more medical care, they will not be able to see past the numbers on the scale. I am afraid that if I ever need residential health care, my nutrition needs will not be met because I will be served the same thing as everyone else, on their schedules, according to rules made by bureaucrats. We have worked so hard to get to this place, and I am afraid that the medical community is going to destroy that. I fear that they will not care if restriction makes my hair fall out again as long as my waist gets smaller. 
Please help me find ways to stay on good terms with you while advocating for myself within a fatphobic system. 


Sincerely, Allied Health Worker in Need of an Ally

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(221) Fighting diet culture while recovering with Robyn Goldberg

Enticed by those slick new wellness products? Attracted to the hopefulness that comes from the idea that you can be happier in your body if just smaller? Recovering from diet culture and/or an eating disorder is so much tougher because the world hasn’t yet. Guest expert Robyn Goldberg, author of highly recommended book, The Eating Disorder Trap, weighs in on ways to move forward on your Food Peace Journey.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,
Where do I begin? I hate you. I love you. You nourish me, yet you cause me feelings of utter guilt and shame. Do I sound crazy yet? I have been struggling with an eating disorder for over ten years. It started out innocent-as it always does! Just wanted to lose a few pounds here and there. But then the weight loss became addicting. Consume less? Move more? The weight melted off. Okay, I thought. This is working. Years down the road I am faced with a number of health problems. Electrolyte imbalances, the bones of an 80 year old woman (I am 27), weakening of my heart muscle, low potassium, and oh did I mention the depression and anxiety? With all of these consequences of my eating disorder, I found myself pushed into saying enough is enough. So, I went to treatment. I left there feeling great. Then I relapsed. I went back to treatment. Here I am weight restored, relatively "healthy" besides the issues I can't reverse. I follow my meal plan every day, listen to my body, eat when I'm hungry, don't over exercise. It is literally a full time job committing to recovery, food. So you can imagine my frustration with the world when I am all of a sudden being bombarded by the latest diet trends EVERYWHERE I LOOK. Wrap yourself skinny! Drink this superfood shake! Don't eat that processed crap! Join my fitness accountability group! Do I need to go on? What is happening? I've spent years in treatment trying to develop a healthy relationship with you food. Trying to let it sink in that you are not BAD. That it's all about balance and getting the nutrients you need to feel your best and yeah, that also means not denying myself a cookie or a damn muffin when I feel like it. I've been trying to be okay with eating how I truly WANT. Not how others think I should. But I can only take so much of this diet stuff. I can't have a conversation with someone, log into my Facebook, go to a coffee shop without calories, weight loss, or some new "get skinny quick"'scheme being thrown into my face. The problem is, the logical part of me who wants to stay in recovery knows that these schemes are bullshit. But the eating disorder loves this. It loves to just kind of tap me on the shoulder sometimes and say "hey..why don't you just order those shakes? It could be a healthy replacement for lunch if you're on the go." Or "hey you really don't get enough exercise these days, why don't you just order that new insane fitness program everyone is raving about?" 

My question is, food, how in the world am
I expected to stay on track to a healthy, balanced life when everywhere I turn there is a tempting reason for me to go back to my old ways? I know that trying one of these diets, cleanses, programs will only restrict what I am "allowed" to eat, thus ruining all of the progress I've made. BUT IT IS SO HARD, FOOD!! Are these people right? Are there foods I need to stay away from? It's so hard not to be tempted or convinced when I am feeling so vulnerable. Would trying any of these programs hurt me or can I do it in a way that is healthy? 
-Tired (but tempted) of the diet industry 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(220) When you hate everything about food with Alex Raymond

Ever list all the things you hate about food? The constant shame, the obsessive thoughts, the pervasive self-doubt, AND you need to eat everyday?? Diet culture gives food a confusing power differential that wedges between us and life. Pull up a chair and hear from guest expert Alex Raymond in this latest Love Food Podcast episode.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

10 Things I Hate About Our Relationship.

  1. I hate the attractional pull you have on me no matter my emotional state— happy, sad, scared, anxious, lonely— and how much energy it takes to resist that pull. It’s easy to give in but then you repeatedly tell me how weak I am for giving in! If I do manage to walk away, you leave me feeling drained by all the effort, thoughts, negotiations, and willpower required of me to be strong and walk away. 
  2. I hate how insecure you make me feel when I am around you. The feeling of self-doubt during the analyzing process, checking to see if what I want to eat and what I have available to eat are within my macro allocation goals. I can’t make up my own mind about what to eat anymore!! Some days, I just shut down completely and would rather eat nothing and fast for the day. 
  3. I hate how you make me feel like I am a let down when I do not track your macros and micros and water and fiber constantly, routinely, every single day. Just turn your judgmental eyes away and I am happy to ignore your judgments and ignore this situation. 
  4. I hate how you make me think that my body is being deprived of nutrition. You tell me “I need more” and “get 2 to have one as a backup” when grocery shopping. I have not been in a state of needing to portion my food to prevent starvation. I do have a pantry, fridge, 2 freezers, and storage room full of nutritious foods. Yet still, you speak to me in ways that say “it is still not enough”. 
  5. I hate how, out of nowhere, you carry the delicious smells of good food, both sweets and savories. This constant tease of my senses triggers my thoughts and actions into downward spirals. Yet again, another opportunity for you to lure me into the depths of desire in my senses and leave both my body and mind feeling like I am a complete and utter failure.
  6. I hate how you have deeply ingrained an unspoken rule of following the ‘clean plate club’. Yet, my family did not even follow this rule! Where did you even sneak this idea into my thought patterns?! Is your influence so powerful that I see and hear your voice coming out of my friends’ eyes in their homes? I don’t want to be rude, so I eat it all! 
  7. I hate how I rationalize my mind to accept the portion of treat I have allotted myself. Indulging in a purposeful and intentional allocation of a treat. You, with the deprivation mindset, then counter with “Why not have 2 pieces instead of 1? It’s only a small amount more. You can exercise it off later today.” And then I agree. But that’s not the worst of this situation. It’s the downward spiral of thinking that “I’ve completely gone off the rails today, so why not have another cookie or two or three and some wine?” I want balance and positive lifestyle habits and you are holding me back from forming these more positive habits!  
  8. I hate how you are always the center of attention in all conversations and meetups with friends, coworkers, neighbors, and family. Coffee to start our work day? Potluck for teacher conferences? Unlimited drinks at the neighbor’s holiday party? You say, “bring a healthy item for everyone to share” then when I arrive, your Cheshire Cat smile comes out and you whisper, “well, now that we’re here, you must try the meatballs and the cheese ball and the stuffed dates!” 
  9. I hate how ashamed you make me feel when I am expressing my needs and desires to loved ones in regard to food. My satiety is not the same as anyone else. My cravings are not like anyone else’s. Yet I feel judged and ashamed when expressing my truth to others. So I hide. And hide food. Sneak eating food. Not only is this affecting my relationship with you, but also my relationship with money. I am also hiding purchases in my finances. Oh, you’ve taught me too well. 
  10. Most of all, I truly hate how you leave me utterly speechless at all-inclusive resorts when traveling out of the country! I can eat to my heart’s (and mind’s) content and drink unlimited adult and non-adult beverages and return home a week later weighing LESS than when I left?! Feeling HAPPIER and LIGHTER?! Seriously! This leaves me to wonder, “do YOU take your vacation from harassing my thoughts every time I plan and go on MY vacation out of the United States?” Why must you harass me at home? When can you cut me a break at home? Why don’t you take a vacation and I will stay at home reading by the fireplace? 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(219) How do I do Intuitive Eating while living with diabetes with Amee Serverson

Have you found anti-diet hashtags like intuitive eating, fat positivity, non-diet, and Health at Every Size yet wonder if they can fit for you with diabetes? Yes. You. Can. Listen to the latest Love Food Podcast episode with guest expert Amee Severson.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

We’ve had a really rocky relationship. I’ve avoided you like the plague since I was nine. And, I only indulged when I felt faint, but ended up eating everything in the pantry. Then, after college, I was surprised to learn that you were not problem. I’m sorry I ran away for so many years. I was/am fat, and the world told me you were the problem. 
So, things have been good lately. But, now, I have diabetes. Between the diabetes, PCOS, and being visibly fat, I feel overwhelmed. My previous ED recovery work feels worthless. I don’t know how to engage with you and not hate you like before. I want to continue healing us. How do I eat intuitively, be fat positive, and manage my diabetes without succumbing to diet culture?
Let’s be friends again.
Scared and confused

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(218) How do I eat “right” with diabetes with Glenys Oyston

Looking for the right way to eat and exercise for your diabetes? Know this: there is no one right way to do diabetes self-care. Glenys Oyston is our guest on this Love Food Podcast episode and during the month of May we are focusing on anti-diet diabetes conversations. Join us!

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

I can't stop snacking,  and eating fast food. I have diabetes,  and need to make better choices. Lately I'm in a heavy food eating, which leads me to be sleepy and inactive. My diabetes dietitian focuses on counting carbs, and I haven't counted carbs in years. I've given up and given in to the cravings. I've gained weight, watched my blood pressure rise, and my eyes fill with sadness when I look in the mirror and wonder how much over X pounds is on my 5ft frame. I actually feel afraid for my heart and all the extra work it has to do now while my weight continues to rise.  There have been times when I actually enjoyed drinking "green drinks," and having my brain and body feel healthy. Grilling out, experimenting with recipes, yoga, swimming, and such.  I know my food choices today make my vision blurry,  blood sugar high, and cause me to make not so good decisions because my brain isn't as clear when I  "exercise and eat right. " I want a strong body again. I want to find joy in a walk or kayaking or fitting comfortable in a booth having brunch with friends.   How do I get back to that?  How do I get back to wanting the healthy choices, the joy in experimenting with fruits, vegetables,  protein, and fats in recipes? How with limited insurance and temporary employment do I find a good dietitian?  Right now I feel like you food have won. You are keeping me hostage in a body that isn't strong, and  makes me physically uncomfortable,  and feeds my diabetes instead of my spirit. Lost my way & afraid for my life...

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!