Show Notes

Listeners’ Letter

Dear Food,
You have, and always will be, such a big part of life and identity. Growing up in an Indian household, you were everything – we would spend hours preparing delicious meals to eat and share with other people. My mum was an exceptional cook who loved nothing more than to research recipes to try out on me and her friends. Food, you are there in so many of my best childhood memories – going out for ice cream sundaes on the weekend, discovering the magic of baking, and making cheese toast as a midnight snack with my dad.
But now, at the age of 36, having battled with weight for as long as I can remember, and trying to figure out my PCOS, I realise that our relationship is really complicated. While you have brought me so much joy, you also come with a ton of fear and anxiety for me. I remember calorie counting with my mum in my early teens, being praised for controlling what I ate, and family members commenting on my body whether I had lost or gained weight. Food, I have starved myself of you so many times, and this always results in me punishing myself through binging and exercising. I’m tired of weight loss taking up so much of my headspace. I’m working really hard to get some neutrality on all of this but sometimes, even just noticing a shirt doesn’t button up right anymore can set about a heap of negative thoughts.
From
Working really hard