(228) I still want to lose weight (Intuitive Eating Series with Kirsten Ackerman)

Have you been walking your Food Peace Journey™️ for awhile singing anti-diet praises yet suffer in secret? Do you call yourself body positive yet find yourself fantasizing about losing weight? This is an isolating space yet you are not alone. We have options to explore. Listen as guest expert Kirsten Ackerman describes ways to navigate this part of your Food Peace Journey.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

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Dear Food,

I feel like an imposter with you and with intuitive eating. I feel that I’m not truly anti-diet, truly in recovery for binge eating and anorexia, or that I am really past all the dieting. My relationship with you has been unstable since I was five. I remember being highly aware of my body at such a young age and knowing I was larger than everyone. So I started to diet. And the dieting cycle didn’t stop until two years ago when I found intuitive eating. I’ve worked so hard to unlearn my internalized fatphobia and diet culture that was ingrained in me from such a young age. But everyday I feel like I’m faking it. I tell myself that I don’t want to be skinny, but I do. I tell myself I dont want to diet anymore, but I do. I tell myself that calories and carbs count isn’t important, but I find myself still glancing at the nutrition facts on food labels. What if I’m not meant for intuitive eating? What if dieting is the only way I can manage my PCOS and my weight? And even as I say this to you, food, I know it’s not the truth. I know that dieting is a short term solution and that it will do more harm than good. But sometimes working against the system is so difficult. I constantly have coworkers, friends, and family that are so deep into diet culture that it’s easy to get sucked back into it. 
And then of course there’s the PCOS. There is so much misinformation about how to manage my symptoms with PCOS and much of the time it’s diet related. I want to be fully free with you, food. I want to truly feel free from diet culture and know that I am a good person, regardless of the food I consume. But it’s so tough. I know that nutritious foods feel so good in my body and that less nutritious foods exacerbate my PCOS symptoms. And in my mind that means I can only eat “healthy” and that I can’t have ice cream if I want it. That the moment I eat something, it will make or break my PCOS management skills. That I will do too much damage that can’t be undone. So what do I do, food? How do I feel free with you? Because I am an imposter, a sham, and I’m afraid that someone will realize that I’m not as anti-diet as I make myself out to be. 
Thanks for listening,

The Perfectionist

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

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(225) My coworker keeps talking about diets (PCOS Series with Laura Burns)

We see you exhausted trying to swim upstream against diet culture. Do you work or live with someone who is hard core into dieting and just won’t shut up about it? Have you told them to stop and they keep at it anyway? We made this episode for you. Join this latest episode of the Love Food Podcast with guest expert Laura Burns. We want you to keep swimming!

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by The Eating Disorder Trap book and podcast by Robyn Goldberg.

It is likely you have a close friend, client or loved one who is currently struggling with an eating disorder. Do you feel lost in a deluge of information? Are you unsure who to trust? Let this book be your guide.

Written by an expert with over twenty years of experience in the field of eating disorders, this book will give you the facts in a friendly and easy to read format. Get to know what you are dealing with and how it is taking a toll on your body and quality of life. Get rid of the myths “diet culture” has had you believe. Find out where to go and who to turn to for expert and compassionate care, maximizing your potential for recovery. A useful, inviting and all inclusive guide to eating disorders.

Also be sure to tune in to The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast, an expansive support and resource system for people struggling with eating disorders. This podcast is for clients, clinicians and anyone who wants to be able to support someone who is struggling.

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Dear Food: 

I’ve been a listener to this podcast for a while now and it has been a helpful resource as I’ve worked on my own recovery from bingeing and restricting along with repairing my own body image. This year I began teaching at a new school and a teacher on my team has been a big trigger for me. She’s a former gymnast/power lifter and she often talks about her body and fat people in a really disparaging way. It started in the beginning of the year when she wouldn’t eat meals. Then it continued as she would talk about how disgusting she thought her body was. This year she had a miscarriage and later shared her PCOS diagnosis with me and how frustrating it is for her that she gains weight so easily.
Since quarantine has begun she’s been heavily into weight loss and has dropped 25lbs in the 3 months we’ve been in quarantine. I unfollowed her on social media but I still have to attend video calls with her where she tends to bring up her weight loss and about how disgusting she was before in her already thin body. I mentioned my concern to work friends that have worked with her before, and it sounds like she’s lost weight really rapidly before using diet pills and not eating consistently. They did not seem as concerned as I was.
I recognize that I cannot change anything she does, and truthfully I consider her a friend outside of this issue. We’re all on a team together so it would be far more difficult to not get along with her. That said, being around her and having to do video calls with her where all she talks about is weight loss and dieting (even after I’ve  asked her not to) has been really triggering for me. 
At this point, I don’t think she’d be receptive to anything I have to say especially because I do have a fat body and I’m worried she’s going to only hear my concerns as jealousy of her thinness. At one point i asked her to not send me her weight loss updates anymore and she gave me a not so sincere sorry. 
How can I continue my own journey of recovery while I have to be in close contact with someone who hasn’t even begun to realize they might have a problem? Over the summer I can hopefully take a break but I’m still worried about maintaining the friendship I have with my team while also trying to avoid her? I see an eating disorder dietitian and I used to work with an eating disorder therapist, but this has been a new problem. 
I know I don’t need to be thin to be healthy. I’m really proud of the healthy relationship I’ve built with food and permission and I have made strides in finding non-weight related motivation to consistently exercise. I just worry continued exposure to her fat phobia and rapid weight loss will cause me to spiral back only focusing on losing weight. 
Thanks for reading. 
Sincerely,
Don’t Want to Go Back

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(197) You are not letting yourself go.

If your New Year resolution did NOT include diets you may be feeling a bit down. Many people tell me that a few weeks after moving away from diets they fear the worst: letting themselves go. I am here to tell you something different. Listen to this latest After the Letters Project episode in your Love Food feed now.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(192) I want more control while intuitively eating.

The road to Food Peace is not all rainbows and butterflies. Most will experience rejection, body hate, and complicated ways of eating. If you come from that place and journeying toward intuitive eating, you may crave more control in the process. I made this week’s Love Food Podcast episode just for you.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

Our relationship has been complicated since before I can remember. I’ve been overweight my entire life and you have always been the one i put the blame on. I was very young when i was told you were bad for me. I knew to stay away from carbs and sweets before i went to grade school. My mother lived for diet culture. Every month it was a new diet and I was always forced to participate. The diets never worked. I couldn’t stay away from you. Although i knew i was overweight i never wanted to admit it. I was ashamed of the word fat. After my dad passed away our bond grew closer. We were now best friends. You were there for the tears and you were there for the laughs. I used you as my crutch to get me out of a dark place. After a year i realized that we needed a break. My clothes were tighter, i went up pant sizes, and the pictures from spring fling made me want to vomit. I didnt want to be the fat girl any more. At 16 years old i just wanted to fit in. So I lost Xlbs, i joined the dance team, and the cheer squad. I was still overweight but i felt good about myself and all of the new friends i made. I managed to keep the Xlbs off for 2 years until I graduated. That’s when i started working and could start to feed myself. I ate fast food every night after work. I loved it. I had never been able to experience this. As a child i rarely got fast food because our family was always on a diet. I couldn’t control myself. Sometimes I’d get fast food multiple times a day. Before i knew it the Xlbs were back.  I managed to not gain anymore weight for about 4 years. Then i married my husband and my relationship with food went sour. I gained Xlbs over the first year i was married. I remember hearing the doctor say my weight and i almost fell to the floor. How could this happen? Ive been overeating for years and i never gained anything. I knew a change needed to happen. But how? I started dieting. I would spend hours planning meals and snacks for the week but that grew tiresome fast. I figured I’d try keto everyone raves about how easy it is. It didnt matter what diet i did i always managed to overeat to the point of being sick. I heard about intuitive eating from a friend at the gym and she suggested i Look into it. Once again i find myself binging on unhealthy snacks. I’ve been desperately trying to rebuild a healthy relationship with food but some how i always find myself in the fridge eating until my stomach cant handle anymore. I’m lost and confused.  I am frustrated and desperate to get control of my life again. 


Sincerely,

Desperate For Help

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(188) Dear Diets, You F*cking Suck.

Food Peace™ is political, radical, and important. I’ve made mistakes and I am ready to plow ahead. Are you ready to stand up against diet culture with me? Listen now to my Dear Diets letter, and get fired up with me!

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This episode is brought to you by my online course, PCOS and Food Peace.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, you’ll support the Love, Food Podcast at no extra cost to yourself.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • To close out 2019, I’m going to be reading a letter written by me, straight to diets.
  • It’s time to dismantle diet culture, and I need your help. Send me your Dear, Food letter for next season to lovefoodpodcast@gmail.com. I’m looking forward to hearing them!
  • Don’t forget to subscribe to the show, and leave a rating and review. It’s so important to leave a rating and review, as it helps people who are struggling with their relationship with food and body to find the podcast.
  • “A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.” – Namoi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
  • We should all be raising our children as feminists.
  • Food IS political, and dieting IS political. We HAVE to talk about politics and feminism if we hope to dismantle diet culture and the patriarchy for good.
  • Diets have condemned certain body sizes, and they have distracted all of us from experiencing true joy in our lives and with food. Diets keep us from experiencing connection and joy with others! Diets tell us we aren’t worthy of love until we’re the “right” size. But none of the things diets tell us are true.
  • Diet culture pretends to be about health, and even has begun to feel like a religion. Diets have gone way too far.
  • Diets predict weight gain and eating disorders!
  • People who oppose diets, and the damage that they do, are coming together. The next generation of psychologists, dietitians, and health professionals will take diet culture down!!
  • We need to teach health professionals about weight bias and weight stigma. It’s harmful to our health, even more-so than eating that french fry.
  • Diets are sneaky manipulators, so smart that sometimes we don’t even know we’re being manipulated.
  • It’s time to engage in our politics, understand our privilege, and stand up to diet and body oppression. It’s time for us all to feel more at home in our own skin, and to end the normalization of diets and fatphobia. See you in 2020!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.