(230) Weight changes (Intuitive Eating Series)

Have you heard Intuitive Eating can help you lose weight if you do it right? Blech. NO. I know you’ve heard that yet it is sooooo off. That advice is steering you in the direction away from Food Peace. I want to help you get back on track. Listen to latest Love Food Podcast for insight.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

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Dear Food,

I have been trying to make things right with you for a while now. I’ve been exploring intuitive eating for the last year, and we’ve had some successful moments together. Remember when I wasn’t able to keep ice cream in the house? Now I have multiple containers, which I eat when I’m in the mood and don’t think about when I’m not. That’s something I feel proud of. 
I still make mistakes when it comes to our relationship – I know there are times I eat past fullness, and there are times I eat when I’m not hungry. I am trying to be as compassionate as I can with myself, but then l I see myself in a mirror. 
I threw away my scale in October, and haven’t been on one since. But it’s pretty obvious I have gained weight. Mostt of my old clothes don’t fit, and getting ready for work and social events is fraught with anxiety. I have bought things in new sizes,  but  I cannot shake the awful feelings that almost paralyze me when I see myself.
I was not somebody who needed to be weight restored. What I feared would happen, happened. I gained weight. I always thought that if I binged less and practiced intuitive eating that I would somehow magically become thin. That didn’t happen for me. I know I can’t go back to dieting, but I also can’t seem to accept myself this way.
I know about body positivity, HAES, and fat acceptance, but I can’t seem to get there. Forget about body love – I’d be happy with body neutrality. It seems impossible for me to love my body at this weight when I know look better thinner.
 I don’t know what to do about us, Food. I will not diet again, but I second guess my choices a lot. Even when I hear experts talk about intuitive eating, they always say things like, “Don’t worry – you won’t always want to eat Oreos or pizza” as if those foods truly are bad. I  want to give myself freedom to eat whatever I want, but in exchange, I hate how I look. 
Where do we go from here, Food? 
Love,

Feeling like a failure

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

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(229) I weighed myself and…(Intuitive Eating Series)

So you weighed yourself and well, shit, all the rainbows and unicorns from your Intuitive Eating Honeymoon are in the crapper. What the hell happened? Just getting on the scale, seeing a scale, or thinking of stepping on a scale is enough for your brain to connect with your dieting trauma. Let’s pull up a chair and sift through this on the latest Love Food Podcast episode.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

After a lifetime of eating, bingeing, and restricting, I finally felt like I needed to shift the way we exist in the world together. I’ve loved you, feared you, needed you, and abused you. We were in need of couples therapy. Luckily, I found a great podcast that was all about you! After binge listening to the Love Food Podcast, I was inspired to explore intuitive eating. For the last month, I’ve immersed myself into the intuitive eating/body positive culture by reading and investigating different books, blogs, etc. What I learned felt right, and I started to implement the tenets of intuitive eating. We had a great two week honeymoon, where I wasn’t anxious about dining out and I allowed myself to eat what I truly craved. I was also vigilant about stopping before I got too full. It was pretty amazing to learn how little I actually needed to feel satisfied. Things were going great until I did something stupid. I stepped on the scale. Yes, I know the experts said you can’t diet and practice intuitive eating at the same time. But, my old compulsion got the best of me. So I weighed myself and it turns out I lost a few pounds. Almost effortlessly. And that’s where I derailed. Since finding out I’ve lost some weight, I’ve been bingeing and restricting again! It’s the same thing I would do when I used to diet. Lose a little, and then eat my way back up the scale. What am I doing??? I can’t seem to find the intuitive path again. Every day I try, but end up bingeing by the end of the day. How did I get here again? I was feeling so empowered and free just a couple of weeks ago, and now I’m feeling defeated and fat all over again. I somehow turned  intuitive eating into another diet gone wrong. Food, I want to get us on the right path again but I’m not sure how.
Love,

Intuitive Saboteur

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(228) I still want to lose weight (Intuitive Eating Series with Kirsten Ackerman)

Have you been walking your Food Peace Journey™️ for awhile singing anti-diet praises yet suffer in secret? Do you call yourself body positive yet find yourself fantasizing about losing weight? This is an isolating space yet you are not alone. We have options to explore. Listen as guest expert Kirsten Ackerman describes ways to navigate this part of your Food Peace Journey.

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This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

I feel like an imposter with you and with intuitive eating. I feel that I’m not truly anti-diet, truly in recovery for binge eating and anorexia, or that I am really past all the dieting. My relationship with you has been unstable since I was five. I remember being highly aware of my body at such a young age and knowing I was larger than everyone. So I started to diet. And the dieting cycle didn’t stop until two years ago when I found intuitive eating. I’ve worked so hard to unlearn my internalized fatphobia and diet culture that was ingrained in me from such a young age. But everyday I feel like I’m faking it. I tell myself that I don’t want to be skinny, but I do. I tell myself I dont want to diet anymore, but I do. I tell myself that calories and carbs count isn’t important, but I find myself still glancing at the nutrition facts on food labels. What if I’m not meant for intuitive eating? What if dieting is the only way I can manage my PCOS and my weight? And even as I say this to you, food, I know it’s not the truth. I know that dieting is a short term solution and that it will do more harm than good. But sometimes working against the system is so difficult. I constantly have coworkers, friends, and family that are so deep into diet culture that it’s easy to get sucked back into it. 
And then of course there’s the PCOS. There is so much misinformation about how to manage my symptoms with PCOS and much of the time it’s diet related. I want to be fully free with you, food. I want to truly feel free from diet culture and know that I am a good person, regardless of the food I consume. But it’s so tough. I know that nutritious foods feel so good in my body and that less nutritious foods exacerbate my PCOS symptoms. And in my mind that means I can only eat “healthy” and that I can’t have ice cream if I want it. That the moment I eat something, it will make or break my PCOS management skills. That I will do too much damage that can’t be undone. So what do I do, food? How do I feel free with you? Because I am an imposter, a sham, and I’m afraid that someone will realize that I’m not as anti-diet as I make myself out to be. 
Thanks for listening,

The Perfectionist

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(214) How does food insecurity and disability affect Food Peace? (with Veronica Garnett)

Most people with a complicated relationship with food are at diet rock bottom yet what if you have never dieted? Experiences with food insecurity that will have a similar effect. This is a valid place on the Food Peace Journey™ and let’s discuss Intuitive Eating tools to aid your recovery with guest expert Veronica Garnett @DiasporadicalKitchen on Instagram.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

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This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Deer food,
I’ve struggled with you pretty much all of my life. I never dieted but I have always been a rebel. I hid food, snook it, or just ate too much in general. At least it’s what other people would call too much. I’m also visually impaired. Dieting just seems ridiculous to me especially since I couldn’t read calories or other food label information. Of course I could’ve had someone read it to me but I could never see myself giving up sweets.  or even cutting back. I don’t like fast food. One of the stereotypes of fat people or people in larger bodies is that they eat too much fast food. This wasn’t true for me. My mom loved cooking when she had time but she rarely did. She worked a lot. When she would cook most of the food would go to waste because my brother, sister, and stepdad always wanted fast food. If my mom is at work and there wasn’t any money to be used on fast food my stepdad would cook something but no sides. It never felt enough. Now I can eat chicken with out the side and it’s no big deal but that then I always wanted my mom’s good side dishes. We were also pretty poor. Food insecurity was hard. They were also times were my stepdad sister and sometimes my brother would leave and not tell me. Most the time it would be to go to pick my mom up from work but sometimes it would be to go to other places. If my mom wasn’t with them and they would stop and get food during those times they were either forget about me or get me something that I didn’t wind up liking. I’m kind of a picky eater. My mom would remember to always make sure it was something I liked if they would stop and get fast food. I also went to the Maryland school for the blind during weekdays starting through my fifth grade year. It was pretty good there because there was always good food around or at least I would have peanut butter and bread to make a sandwich. I was disappointed that there were less snacks but at least there were some and I wouldn’t feel like I would have to eat them quick to keep them from being on within the next day or two because of my brothers friends Who would come over. Speaking of my brother, he also bullied me about my weight. That’s when most of the rebellion really amped up. There is a lot more in my childhood and young adult life that led to a bad relationship with food such as the times when I helped my friend out with food when she lost her food stamp card and we live together but they didn’t help me when they found it. I was stuck eating just mashed potatoes and crackers during those times. I digress though for the sake of time.
Just a few months ago I found out about Intuit is eating and health at every size. I came to it because of a book that was recommended to me to deal with the triggering conversations that were happening about my weight. One of those triggering conversations was with my uncle Tom who is one of the nicest and most beautiful people but he still caught up in diet culture because doesn’t want me to diet but he does want me to cut my portions back and he expects that I lose weight. I know the main reason is because he’s afraid of losing me because I’m the only one he trusts. My question to food is how can I begin to incorporate these things when I’ve never really dieted. How do I keep myself from trying to prove to him and others that I am becoming healthier? How do I fit in to these new paradigms? Also, how can I introduce people to these new paradigms when I’m not very articulate with when it comes to remembering definitions and statistics that will prove that these new ways of doing things are valid?
Yours truly:
Partially blind fat friend

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(176) I’m supposed to be a perfect eater (with Kimmie Singh)

Listen to the latest Love Food Episode with guest expert Kimmie Singh RD

Do you feel the pressure to eat “good” all the time? Are you in a role where you are expected to be healthy and eat in a way to prove it? Those who study or are in dietetics, medicine, nursing, and other health related fields will easily relate yet just about everyone will relate to the pressure. Listen as we sift through ways to get through with guest expert Kimmie Singh.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food, 

I am writing this email as I am on my own personal journey with food peace and body acceptance. I am a dietetics student well into my studies academically and have had some observations as well as personal growth along the way. About a year ago, I began going to therapy and there it was revealed that I undoubtable struggle with orthorexic and disordered eating behaviors. This was, in a sense, such a relief to hear. It put a label to what I was going through and allowed me to set the path of self-improvement within my life. 

Although, actually putting in the work and committing to recovery was something that I could not have prepared myself for. This is something that I am still working towards today. At any rate, this brings me to what I want to talk about, which is how isolating this struggle can be in my major. I am surrounded by people, mostly women, who are expected to have a perfect relationship with food. However, I have a sinking suspicion that this is far from the case. I am living in a world surrounded by well-meaning individuals who are smart, inspiring, and dedicated. And obsessed with food. 

At the time, I felt extremely alone in my struggle. I felt as though no one else knew what I was going through because dietetics students are held to the highest of all standards. We are expected to have everything together, including our relationship with food. Now, a year into my recovery journey, I am becoming more and more concerned that the discussion of eating disorders is missing from our education. I think as people who are so enveloped in the study of food, we need to be allowed room to heal our relationship with the societal expectation that we should be “perfect.” Furthermore, we need room as individuals to heal our relationships with our own bodies, as well as our knowledge of fat stigma and shaming. We need to be allowed to un-learn commonly held beliefs surrounding weight and health. 

Unfortunately, everything mentioned above is missing from the dietetic curriculum, at least at my school. As I continue on in my own food peace journey, I am left confused and frustrated that we, as future professionals within the field, are left out of the discussion on eating disorders. As a result, we are entering the field with an oversimplified and possibly harmful outlook on people’s relationship with food. 

Sincerely, 

Captivated & Concerned 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!