(236) How do I find clothes that fit while trying to make Intuitive Eating work? Anti fat bias, compassion, and life rejecting diet culture with Nic McDermid.

Rejecting diets in a body that doesn’t feel acceptable is exponentially hard. How do you access the world, find clothes that fit AND reject diets? We hope this episode featuring Nic McDermid gives you the compassion you deserve and the fuel you crave.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of The Love Food Podcast is brought to you by my PCOS + Food Peace Course:

Get 30% off using the coupon code ‘LOVE2021’ starting Valentine’s Day through the end of February. Grab details at PCOSandFoodPeace.com. 

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

You have been a big part of my life for more than 50 years, comforting me in pain , sharing life successes with me .  I grew to love and hate you as a child and adolescent, and my struggles with restricting you have continued throughout my life. I have tried to control  you to have a smaller body and yet it has never been maintainable as I have always eaten more of you to end up at a higher weight  and larger clothing  size. The last 2-3 years the up and down body size roller coaster we have been on has slowed down and this body that I have now has been more or less the same size , but I am not happy with it and still long to walk into a clothing store and find a variety of clothes that fit me. 

Instead I hate shopping and always end up eating more of you or  comfort versions of you to stop the pain and shame I feel not being able to find clothes that fit.  It doesn’t help to live in Spain as I find larger sized clothing is even harder to find. I have gained and lost the same number of  lbs over and over but always come back to this weight, and body size, and I still deal with choices of you daily . I must eat too much of you which I think contributes to my maintaining this larger  body and yet the portions of you and the exercise I do should add up to having a smaller body. 

This year I found the intuitive eating book and am working through the workbook. I am also finding more and more health at any size websites and support groups. I am learning to stop eating when I am full and I am not binging anymore for years now, and I exercise regularly . For my 61 years I am in pretty good shape but I just struggle with finding clothes I feel comfortable in and wish for a smaller sized body , and not the hard to find size that I wear now. 

I also feel that the aches and pains I have daily with this body would be less with a smaller body and I would have more energy, and my doctors have told me repeatedly to drop weight  every time I go to an appointment . I am having knee replacement surgery soon and this body size concerns me. 

Anyway Food, I seem to be stuck here and not sure how to work with you so I can lower my body size, I don’t have visions anymore of being a super model or an unrealistic size. I just want to be able to buy clothes easier and feel better in what I wear, and have a healthier body image. 

I am  not obsessed with your details and watching your calories anymore or tracking you as I have been for  years but instead trying to eat just enough of you, enjoying your taste and not restricting myself . I know I need you to give me nutrients and keep me alive, so this relationship is lifelong,

I would just like to find a balance with you and this larger body I have. 

love 

Still Dreaming to be Smaller

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(235) I am struggling with the weight gain that has come with Intuitive Eating while living with a chronic condition like PCOS, high cholesterol, diabetes.

Are you getting a message that weight gain means you are doing it wrong?  Diets preach weight loss for health and then tell us that if their rules don’t work it is on us not them. You are not a failure if or when you gain weight. If you struggle with moving away from diets and need more insight to fuel your Food Peace Journey, you are in the right place.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of The Love Food Podcast is brought to you by my PCOS + Food Peace Course:

Get 30% off using the coupon code ‘LOVE2021’ starting Valentine’s Day through the end of February. Grab details at PCOSandFoodPeace.com. 

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

For probably my entire entire life I have used as a scapegoat to avoid my divided and toxic family life, my fear of relationships and men, and the excuse as to why I can’t keep the weight off. 

After my brother passed unexpectedly this year and after mindless eating to numb the pain of his absence I seeked out some help from a therapist. I am still in therapy and I was able to unblock myself with the numbness. This is where you came in Food. I was no longer using you as a source of comfort anymore. Alongside this journey I decided to read the Intuitive Eating book that Julie Duffy Dillon put on her must reads syllabus section. I read it slowly and realized even more that you don’t really bring me that source of comfort anymore or really the satisfaction. In fact I had face so much without you in just a matter of 3 months. I had to face the reality that my brother is no longer here, that I used you to numb myself to the point where I didn’t know what I was feeling, and that I fed myself the wrong foods to keep myself fat so men would leave me alone. I say this because when I have been at a lighter weight I did not feel comfortable at all with the attention. I felt vulnerable in my new body. Fat is all I have ever known. I was a wallflower and invisible to men. Once I wasn’t I was back at the binging and the weight crept up, although on a conscious level I was so upset about this. 

I know all of this sounds crazy but I had such a huge insight in such a short amount of time. I began to take care of myself, but I am really struggling with something: PCOS. I really want to build a strong and healthy relationship with my body. My body is completely out of balance because I feel it at a cellular level. Because I had gained almost 15 lbs from the loss of my brother my PCOS symptoms came back. I don’t weigh myself anymore but I do want to lose some weight so I can get off medication and re-stabilize my hormones. I just feel like all the information out there about nutrition and PCOS is so contradictory. I don’t know where to start. I find myself getting into diet mentality and I fight myself mentally constantly, especially lately. I don’t feel at peace and this concerns me. I have stopped exercising because of this mental stress too. 

I ask you Food, what am I really supposed to do? Am I supposed to be ok with the fact that maybe my PCOS Is always going to wreck havoc on my health? Am I supposed to be ok with being large and constantly fighting to stabilize my hormones. I’m only 26, and I am so fatigued. I really don’t care what the scale says anymore, what I want to know is: what exactly am I supposed to do? I honor my hunger but I noticed some days I barely eat. I logically do not think this is ok since I have PCOS. Idk if I can trust my body fully because of the PCOS. Instead of going around in circles, does intuitive eating really work for PCOS? Are carbs really what is making my hormones insane or gain a few extra pounds? I just feel so lost. I want to get out of this. I want to heal my body and my soul. I want to heal my PCOS naturally and I want to be ok with you Food. I just hate how healing PCOS equates to weight loss. I think this may be the issue. I just feel like I am always going to lose when it comes to PCOS. 

Sincerely,

Lost Cyster. 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

 

(230) Weight changes (Intuitive Eating Series)

Have you heard Intuitive Eating can help you lose weight if you do it right? Blech. NO. I know you’ve heard that yet it is sooooo off. That advice is steering you in the direction away from Food Peace. I want to help you get back on track. Listen to latest Love Food Podcast for insight.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

I have been trying to make things right with you for a while now. I’ve been exploring intuitive eating for the last year, and we’ve had some successful moments together. Remember when I wasn’t able to keep ice cream in the house? Now I have multiple containers, which I eat when I’m in the mood and don’t think about when I’m not. That’s something I feel proud of. 
I still make mistakes when it comes to our relationship – I know there are times I eat past fullness, and there are times I eat when I’m not hungry. I am trying to be as compassionate as I can with myself, but then l I see myself in a mirror. 
I threw away my scale in October, and haven’t been on one since. But it’s pretty obvious I have gained weight. Mostt of my old clothes don’t fit, and getting ready for work and social events is fraught with anxiety. I have bought things in new sizes,  but  I cannot shake the awful feelings that almost paralyze me when I see myself.
I was not somebody who needed to be weight restored. What I feared would happen, happened. I gained weight. I always thought that if I binged less and practiced intuitive eating that I would somehow magically become thin. That didn’t happen for me. I know I can’t go back to dieting, but I also can’t seem to accept myself this way.
I know about body positivity, HAES, and fat acceptance, but I can’t seem to get there. Forget about body love – I’d be happy with body neutrality. It seems impossible for me to love my body at this weight when I know look better thinner.
 I don’t know what to do about us, Food. I will not diet again, but I second guess my choices a lot. Even when I hear experts talk about intuitive eating, they always say things like, “Don’t worry – you won’t always want to eat Oreos or pizza” as if those foods truly are bad. I  want to give myself freedom to eat whatever I want, but in exchange, I hate how I look. 
Where do we go from here, Food? 
Love,

Feeling like a failure

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

 

(229) I weighed myself and…(Intuitive Eating Series)

So you weighed yourself and well, shit, all the rainbows and unicorns from your Intuitive Eating Honeymoon are in the crapper. What the hell happened? Just getting on the scale, seeing a scale, or thinking of stepping on a scale is enough for your brain to connect with your dieting trauma. Let’s pull up a chair and sift through this on the latest Love Food Podcast episode.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

After a lifetime of eating, bingeing, and restricting, I finally felt like I needed to shift the way we exist in the world together. I’ve loved you, feared you, needed you, and abused you. We were in need of couples therapy. Luckily, I found a great podcast that was all about you! After binge listening to the Love Food Podcast, I was inspired to explore intuitive eating. For the last month, I’ve immersed myself into the intuitive eating/body positive culture by reading and investigating different books, blogs, etc. What I learned felt right, and I started to implement the tenets of intuitive eating. We had a great two week honeymoon, where I wasn’t anxious about dining out and I allowed myself to eat what I truly craved. I was also vigilant about stopping before I got too full. It was pretty amazing to learn how little I actually needed to feel satisfied. Things were going great until I did something stupid. I stepped on the scale. Yes, I know the experts said you can’t diet and practice intuitive eating at the same time. But, my old compulsion got the best of me. So I weighed myself and it turns out I lost a few pounds. Almost effortlessly. And that’s where I derailed. Since finding out I’ve lost some weight, I’ve been bingeing and restricting again! It’s the same thing I would do when I used to diet. Lose a little, and then eat my way back up the scale. What am I doing??? I can’t seem to find the intuitive path again. Every day I try, but end up bingeing by the end of the day. How did I get here again? I was feeling so empowered and free just a couple of weeks ago, and now I’m feeling defeated and fat all over again. I somehow turned  intuitive eating into another diet gone wrong. Food, I want to get us on the right path again but I’m not sure how.
Love,

Intuitive Saboteur

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

 

(228) I still want to lose weight (Intuitive Eating Series with Kirsten Ackerman)

Have you been walking your Food Peace Journey™️ for awhile singing anti-diet praises yet suffer in secret? Do you call yourself body positive yet find yourself fantasizing about losing weight? This is an isolating space yet you are not alone. We have options to explore. Listen as guest expert Kirsten Ackerman describes ways to navigate this part of your Food Peace Journey.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode of the Love Food Podcast is brought to you by Jennifer McGurk’s Pursuing Private Practice programs.

Anti-diet dietitians: take business building one step at a time surrounded by community and support. I highly recommend Jennifer’s Pursuing Private Practice Programs. Check out her free resources for Love Food Listeners here: PursuingPrivatePractice.com/LoveFood

New Podcast alert!

Do you host a podcast I need to tell Love Food listeners about? I want to support Black podcasters get the word out about their fat positive show. Send details to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for you supporting the Love Food Podcast!

Dear Food,

I feel like an imposter with you and with intuitive eating. I feel that I’m not truly anti-diet, truly in recovery for binge eating and anorexia, or that I am really past all the dieting. My relationship with you has been unstable since I was five. I remember being highly aware of my body at such a young age and knowing I was larger than everyone. So I started to diet. And the dieting cycle didn’t stop until two years ago when I found intuitive eating. I’ve worked so hard to unlearn my internalized fatphobia and diet culture that was ingrained in me from such a young age. But everyday I feel like I’m faking it. I tell myself that I don’t want to be skinny, but I do. I tell myself I dont want to diet anymore, but I do. I tell myself that calories and carbs count isn’t important, but I find myself still glancing at the nutrition facts on food labels. What if I’m not meant for intuitive eating? What if dieting is the only way I can manage my PCOS and my weight? And even as I say this to you, food, I know it’s not the truth. I know that dieting is a short term solution and that it will do more harm than good. But sometimes working against the system is so difficult. I constantly have coworkers, friends, and family that are so deep into diet culture that it’s easy to get sucked back into it. 
And then of course there’s the PCOS. There is so much misinformation about how to manage my symptoms with PCOS and much of the time it’s diet related. I want to be fully free with you, food. I want to truly feel free from diet culture and know that I am a good person, regardless of the food I consume. But it’s so tough. I know that nutritious foods feel so good in my body and that less nutritious foods exacerbate my PCOS symptoms. And in my mind that means I can only eat “healthy” and that I can’t have ice cream if I want it. That the moment I eat something, it will make or break my PCOS management skills. That I will do too much damage that can’t be undone. So what do I do, food? How do I feel free with you? Because I am an imposter, a sham, and I’m afraid that someone will realize that I’m not as anti-diet as I make myself out to be. 
Thanks for listening,

The Perfectionist

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!