(145) Can I eat intuitively and help my child with a diet restriction? (with Kathryn Riner)

Many on their Food Peace™ journey find it tough to raise children because of the pressure to limit certain foods or focus on weight. Even tougher when a child is placed on a restrictive diet or given a recommendation to avoid certain foods or food groups. Can you relate? How did this effect your Food Peace journey? Listen to the latest Love Food episode podcast that examines this part of the journey with special guest Kathryn Riner.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Get 30% off using the coupon code ‘lovefood’ at check out through the month of February 2019.

thirdwheelED is a social media advocacy platform that raises awareness of eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities. Started by a queer couple whose writing addresses the intersectionality of eating disorders and body image, including gender dysphoria; a queer identity; trauma; and gender identity and expression, CJ and OJ provide a dual perspective of eating disorder recovery through the lens of a nonbinary person in recovery and of a nontraditional family carer, who just happens to also be a registered dietitian! CJ and OJ would love to work with eating disorder professionals on cultivating inclusive treatment for eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities and are available to discuss training, webinars, and speaking engagements. You can follow them on instagram, facebook, and twitter @thirdwheeled or email them at info@thirdwheeled.com.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food, 

You and I have had our ups and our downs.  When I was younger I avoided you.  When I was older, I feared you.  Yet, I could never quite get over you.  You helped me connect with my children through baking and cooking.  Covered with flour in the kitchen, we created some of my favorite memories.  Then I would swear you off and eat ‘diet’ versions of you, leaving my children confused and looking for an answer.
I realized that something was wrong when my 7 year old twin girls started measuring themselves.  They would tell me proudly how they had said no to the pizza at the cafeteria and had only eaten the small salad for lunch.  I had never talked to them about you, food, but they caught on quickly.  I felt awful.  I didn’t want my children to go through the same confusion and disappointment that I felt.  This led me to my journey to finding my own peace with you, food.
After discovering intuitive eating and ellyn satter’s books about a year ago, our family has practiced the principles as we eat together each day.  We have learned how to reconnect with both nutritious and fun versions of you.  I have felt so much peace when I’ve see them eat a cookie with enthusiasm, and then reach for bell peppers with that same enjoyment.  The obsessions with weight are gone for both me and my children.  I thought we had it all figured out!
Then we hit a roadblock with you, food.  My 6 year old son was diagnosed with PANDAS, an autoimmune disorder.  He has an infection in his brain, and his body is confusing his own brain tissue for the infection itself.  After an ineffective round of antibiotics, his doctor is pushing us to go on a ‘no sugar diet’, so there is nothing to feed the infection.  This means no sugar and very limited fruits and carbohydrates.  The diet could last for months or even years.
I am happy to do anything I can to see my son be healthy again.  But I am concerned, food.  I am worried that by throwing good and bad labels into our families food vocabulary, we will undo all of our hard work. I am worried that even after my son is healthy, he will still have a fear of these versions of you.  I am worried that he will start sneaking you at friends houses or at school and end up eating more sugar than he is now (which isn’t a lot).
Yet, I am also worried that if I let him choose, he will never get better.  I have always been good at being extreme with you, food.  It seems easier just to ban everything that might be hurting him.
When I brought up these concerns with our doctor, he just seemed confused.  He said that if I have the discipline to make an extreme change, that could only be helpful to my son.
The holiday season is here and it is time to make a decision.  Is there a way to eat intuitively and follow these dietary restrictions?  If we leave weight out of it, is it still a diet?  I just want to make life a little more simple for my children than it was for me.
Sincerely,
Scared and Hopeful

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Promote peace with your picky eater!

Hello there! Wanted to pass on that my favorite pediatric dietitian also trained in eating disorder prevention, Katie Holder, will be holding a one time only lunch and learn next week. Would you be interested? Or, know someone who would benefit? Details below and we would love to help make meal time more enjoyable! Reservations are required so let me know if you have any questions. Reserve your spot via emailing office@birdhousenutrition.com.

Warmly,

Julie

 
JPEG Make Peace with Your Picky Eater 3.2017

Love Food Podcast Episode 14: How do I feed my kids without passing on my issues?

 

Ep 014 Image

Raising children and all its food mess can bring up some past, somewhat resolved, bad body thoughts. Throw in everyone’s opinion on the best way to feed your children, and you may feel like you are in an eating disorder relapse tailspin. How can you provide variety and teach healthy eating without sparking that eating disorder?? Can you prevent passing it on to your children??

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Key Points:

  • We don’t cry over spilled milk in our house yet it can get under my skin.
  • When knee deep in the meal time chaos take a deep breath, step back, and know many parents are feeling this same struggle feeding their children. #TheStruggleIsReal
  • Julie’s daughter decided to go rouge with her sour cream and just about freaked Julie out.
  • With a few boundaries, our children will get the nutrients they need without having to be constantly policed.
  • Katie Holder RD rock and rolls in the meal time chaos. She provides insight to get us through.
  • Trust your instincts when something in feeding feels off.
  • Peace at meal time happens when our kids feel safe and competent with the food choices yet meal time may still feel bonkers.
  • Family style dining can promote a healthy relationship with food. Include a couple of starches, fruit, vegetable, a protein, and couple sources of fat. Plop them on the table. Kids decide how much if any they will eat of these. No pressure to eat certain foods. No bribes. No foods before others.
  • Expect food jags due to preference and appetite. At two years of age, pickiness peaks and willingness to try things changes.
  • Katie’s son didn’t eat a vegetable for a whole year…and no one took her nutrition license away 😉
  • Serve dessert at dinner not afterwards sometimes. Teaches all foods are normal and enjoyable.
  • Never force a child to eat something. Child needs to be able to have permission to not eat and learn how to say it politely.
  • Meal time boundaries help everyone. Including giving caregivers a chance to take a break. At some time we need to be able to say, “THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED!” Healthy boundaries can prevent passing on that eating disorder.
  • All those caregivers out there: you are doing a great job!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series. Give me feedback via Twitter @EatingPermitRD.