(198) How do I embrace Intuitive Eating while others say I need to be smaller? (with Shira Rosenbluth)

Have you been told your body is wrong? Recovering into a body that looks different from those you see in your profession? This week’s letter features a higher weight person with aspirations to be on stage, TV, or film. How do you recover while navigating rejection? Listen up as we chat with therapist Shira Rosenbluth about ways to keep moving forward.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

After being at war with you for as long as I can remember I feel like I’m finally starting to make peace with you. Sometimes my relationship with you is friendly but distant and you’re not really on my mind which is honestly something I never thought would happen. After being bulimic for 10 years I must say I’m impressed. When I was 16 years old I had a doctor who diagnosed me with PCOS and who didn’t believe me when I said I was bulimic and just told me to stop eating carbs. He blamed you for my problem, food. I now realize that you are not the reason I have PCOS and weight loss to cure this condition is basically an exercise in futility.  I don’t find myself binging on carbs anymore as a form of protest. I no longer find myself turning to you to spite that doctor. I have a loving partner after being convinced nobody would love me because of my body size and I’ve been with this person for 3 years. He has helped me really become comfortable with my sexuality especially when we are told that people in larger bodies do not deserve to have sex or even be sexy in general. This is huge to me. 


However, Food, there is one hangup I still have that I feel like you’re stopping me from being able to truly make peace with you. I have wanted to be a model and an actress since I was a little girl. Most of the people who know me will tell you that I talked of little else and that I enjoy being in the limelight and I enjoy being the center of attention. Although the entertainment industry has gotten a lot better in the last 10 years especially as the body positive movement has gotten more mainstream, it is still very difficult being a larger woman in this industry. I have had terrible interactions with photographers while I’ve been trying to build up my portfolio and I was rejected from a fashion show I really wanted to do because my waist size was too big. I ended up making XXX for the first time in years after I got rejected from this show. I am no fool, Food. If you don’t fit the clothes or the costumes, you don’t work. How can I still make peace with you and make peace with my body and still hold on to my dream of being a star?

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(196) How do I reject diet culture in college? (with Ayana Habtemariam)

How do you navigate a fat phobic world without support? This episode’s letter writer just started college and recovering from an eating disorder. And it is hard! College campus can be a hub for overexercise, bad body talk, and diets. Listen as I chat with Ayana Habtemariam from Truly Real Nutrition about ways to navigate this part of your Food Peace journey.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

I have battled with you for almost three years now. This weekend actually marks one year of choosing recovery. Choosing to fight Anorexia Nervosa was the best decision I have made, but I did not realize it was going to be so hard and long. I was a senior in high school when I began recovery, but I knew no matter what I HAD to go to college. My parents talked about me taking a gap year in between high school and college to focus on my relationship with you, but that is not the usual in my small town. Thankfully, I am in college now at a university just down the road from my house. I thought my battle with you would be completely over once I left home, but honestly it has just gotten worse. Living on my own means making my own meals and keeping myself accountable. Diet culture is so loud here; I feel like I find you to be a part of every single conversation. It makes me feel hopeless in such a challenging and lonely environment. The school gym is just steps from my dorm—I usually find myself there after a bad meal with you or a hard exam. Why do you attack specifically college students? College is already difficult and adding fear of food and fatphobia makes it even harder. I know it is not just me too that has this struggle, but no one speaks out about it. I am at a loss of how to keep motivation and pushing forward in such a challenging community.  

Sincerely,

Confused College Freshman

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(159) [Rebroadcast] The PCOS and Food Peace Podcast

Tired of diets that don’t work to treat your PCOS?

Feel chaotic around food yet think you HAVE to diet?

Feel shame for your food cravings, bingeing, and body size while living with PCOS?

We have a podcast for you.

Kimmie Singh and I have put together 10 special episodes to form the PCOS and Food Peace Podcast. Each chapter features an interesting person affected by PCOS and their lived experiences. We also sort through a listener question within each episode on topics like exercise, cravings, mental health, infertility, finding good doctors, diabetes, and so much more!

This particular episode on this page is a great place to start. It gives you all the meaty details about the show and a glimpse into each episode.

Let us know what you think!

The PCOS and Food Peace Podcast is brought to you by Julie’s PCOS and Food Peace course. Get 25% off using the coupon code ‘podcast’ at check out. Get all the details here:

Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a rating, review, subscribe or share the podcast! Doing these small acts of kindness help the show grow and connect more with the concept of Food Peace.

Notes:

Thank you to Theralogix, the makers of Ovasitol, for sponsoring the podcast.

  • Ovasitol is an inositol supplement with a blend of myo-inositol and D-chiro-inositol, in the body’s optimal ratio of 40 to 1.
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  • In convenient powder form, Ovasitol can be enjoyed in your favorite beverage or smoothie.
  • Available in both a canister and convenient single-serving packets, Ovasitol contains 100% pure inositols, with no additives.
  • Read our blog post about what Inositols can do to help your PCOS.
  • Order online today at theralogix.com. During checkout, use “PRC” code 127410 for an exclusive PCOS and Food Peace Podcast discount.

(154) How do I stop wanting to lose weight?

Along your Food Peace™ journey you may have connected with how you were raised around food and how to treat your body. Did you learn early on that only thin bodies were acceptable? That we MUST diet in order to keep our weight low and letting go was a failure? Not surprising then that the desire to lose weight will continue. How do you stop wanting to lose weight? How do you accept your body? Listen now to the latest Love Food podcast episode for insight along this part of your journey.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to share the work going on within Decolonizing Fitness. The person behind it, Ilya Parker, is a trans person of color Physical Therapist Assistant and Medical Exercise Coach with over 13 years of rehabilitative and functional training experience. He is a social justice advocate and educator whose work centers gender, racial and healing justice.

He decided to merge his love for restorative based movement practices and community advocacy to create Decolonizing Fitness, LLC; which is a social justice platform that provides affirming fitness services, community education and apparel in support of body diversity. Check out www.decolonizingfitness.com.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,
I’ve been struggling with you for almost my entire life.  When I was little I remember watching my Dad go on diet after diet and rigidly refusing to go up a pant size.  It looked so miserable but I also wanted to be like him.  I also knew (from what my parents had told me) that I was getting fat.  So when I was 8, I went on my first diet and began counting calories.  Later, around age 15, I began to reject dieting and wanted to relax and eat what I wanted.  This made my parents uncomfortable and eventually they began to mandate that I diet and exercise.  I began to sneak you up to my bedroom and eat you in the middle of the night.  I was riddled with shame, guilt, and self-hatred.  Even when I was outside of my parent’s control, I carried their voices of judgment with me and continued dieting throughout most of my adult life.
Now I’m 31 and I’ve tried so hard to redefine my relationship with you and my body.  I’ve seen a counselor and nutritionist who come from an intuitive eating approach.  I was fortunate enough to be part of a 10-week intuitive eating group and I loved it!  But a job change caused me to move away from those resources and now I feel stuck.  I’m heavier than I’ve ever been in my entire life and I’m so ashamed of my body.  I don’t even recognize myself when I look in the mirror.  While the dream of being smaller is still tempting, the thought of dieting repulses me.  I know dieting isn’t the answer, but I can’t seem to get the hang of intuitive eating.  I feel like I’m making zero progress on my journey to food peace.
Often I still feel like that rebellious teenager who would overeat (whether it made her feel good or not) just to spite her parents.  I still want to lose weight but I know that intuitive eating isn’t suppose to be about that.  How do I stop the incessant desire to be smaller when it’s been a part of my life for so long?
I’m also feeling scared because sometimes listening to my body and choosing to stop eating when I’m full/satisfied or not eat something because my inner wisdom is telling me that I don’t truly want it reminds me of the rules and restrictions I lived under for so long.  Intellectually I know that responding to my body and inner wisdom is different than dieting.  But emotionally they sometimes feel the same.  Eventually I end up still engaging in rebellious eating even though I’m not sure what/who I’m rebelling against.  Then I feel like I’ve fallen off track and give up and shame takes over.  I know this is a diet mentality but I can’t seem to shake it!  I’m not sure how to interrupt this cycle and stop thinking of intuitive eating through this dieting lens.  I want to move forward in my food and body peace journey but I’m not sure how to get past this hurtle.  I just want to find peace with you and my body but I’m not sure what the next step should be.
Love,
Stuck In The Cycle

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(149) My spouse doesn’t support this Food Peace journey (with Jillian Murphy).

What does your partner think about you moving away from diets? Are they cheering you on? Or admitting they wish you were pursuing weight loss? I wish this didn’t matter yet getting support from those around you helps your Food Peace™ journey. What do you do when the closest people reject body respect and acceptance? Listen to the latest Love Food podcast and hear from Dr. Jillian Murphy. We hope it helps you pave your way forward.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Get 30% off using the coupon code ‘lovefood’ at check out through the month of February 2019.

thirdwheelED is a social media advocacy platform that raises awareness of eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities. Started by a queer couple whose writing addresses the intersectionality of eating disorders and body image, including gender dysphoria; a queer identity; trauma; and gender identity and expression, CJ and OJ provide a dual perspective of eating disorder recovery through the lens of a nonbinary person in recovery and of a nontraditional family carer, who just happens to also be a registered dietitian! CJ and OJ would love to work with eating disorder professionals on cultivating inclusive treatment for eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities and are available to discuss training, webinars, and speaking engagements. You can follow them on instagram, facebook, and twitter @thirdwheeled or email them at info@thirdwheeled.com.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

I have always had a tumultuous relationship with you. When I was a child, I was alone a lot with books and used you as my companion when I read. I read a lot! Now when I look back, I really was just in a normal kid-sized body.
However I was teased – not in a cruel way but in a loving way by people close to me – my mother, sister and later brother in law all called me chubby. A normal kid would have just laughed this off, but I was a very sensitive child and took things to heart. For a long time as a child I thought I was ugly. As a teenager, I finally understood that I could react to this teasing by controlling how much I ate of you, food and by doing that I got compliments and felt beautiful.
Then came the college years and I found I needed to control you even more, food because now I was the one responsible for buying and eating you. I had very low self esteem as a child and did not know how to be around boys. In college, I dated a guy I had a huge crush on, who acted like he was doing me a favor by starting our relationship by saying “ok we can date but you need to lose weight”. I bent over backwards for this relationship – did a lot of yo-yo dieting in those years when I would lose a ton of weight by severely restricting you, food, then get into a happy place and forget about dieting, while gaining weight.
I finally left this boyfriend and moved to another country. I met my future husband and for a couple of years was very happy and comfortable around you food. I thought I was in heaven because for the first time in my life I had found someone who truly did not see my weight and saw me as a person. I am sure I gained weight in those years but it didn’t seem to affect our relationship.
However it didn’t last long. My (now husband) has been the cruelest critic of all with the most influence over my eating habits and weight because of how close we are. He has told me he’s not attracted to my body, we’ve had big fights and little ones over my weight and my eating and he thinks if I truly loved him I would lose weight for him.
Over the last 20 years of us being together, 17 years of marriage, 2 kids and many of life’s milestones, I have developed a serious binge eating problem. I hide and eat you food. I no longer feel conformable eating what I want in front of any one, even at work when I am away from the judging eyes of my husband. As soon as I finish one meal, I am thinking or looking for my next one. Even when I’m not hungry, I am still buy and eating you in secret. I no longer have any will power against you food and have not been able to diet or lose weight (even 5 pounds) for the last 10 years.
Over the last year as I turned 40, I have been doing different things like meditation, journaling, reading blogs and listening to podcasts to get a better control and understanding of my mind. I have begun to slowly open my mind to the concept that it was never you food, but rather how I thought about myself and my body that was the problem.
My question is this – my husband and I have been to therapy a few times and my weight and his issues with it have always come up. He has always been adamant that he is not trying to be cruel but that he is just not attracted to someone who is overweight. A quick search on the internet shows that there are thousands of men out there just like him. I know that my desire to please him may have started me down this path of hiding and eating, but I have now internalized it and taken it to a whole new level that is all my own. Is my only option to leave him and try to rebuild my life? We don’t fight about my weight any more but we are also not intimate or loving. We have two kids and he is a great dad – I feel I owe it to them to stay in this relationship. How can I build a better relationship with you food, when I have someone in my life who doesn’t believe in this approach?

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!