(202) Food helps me escape but I feel trapped (with Christyna Johnson)

Julie Dillon

(202) Food helps me escape but I feel trapped (with Christyna Johnson)

Do you have an awareness on why you have a complicated relationship with food yet can’t seem to make it right? Do you eat to feel comfort and can’t seem to find another way? Do you eat to escape responsibility or reality and worry that you will never stop bingeing? How and why eat is more complicated than it appears. Pull up a chair and listen to our guest expert Christyna Johnson from @EncouragingNutrition.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Use the coupon code ‘lovefood’ at checkout for 30% off during the month of February 2020.

Dear Food,

This is a much needed conversation… I know exactly when our story started to get a little… complicated.

It all started a little bit more than a year ago, I was only 14 (yes, right now I am just 15 and a half ). I know exactly why it started: I compared myself to one girl in my class… She was a gymnast, and really muscular. I was just getting to high school and I admired her body. I’ve always been considered as a “skinny girl”, but at the time I started hating my thighs (by the way, I still do…). That same year, I started being more active and I thought that my thighs needed to be slimmer. 

Then, I started to do some research on my own by listening to podcasts, watching youtube videos, reading… I did abs every mornings. 
I also decided that I wanted to eat “healthy” and I thought that I had to reduce you Food a little bit… I didn’t starve myself, I was too scared and too aware for this, but I had some “rules”: no bread, no dairy, no dessert everyday, no snacks.

At the same period of time, I lost my period, to this day we (doctors, my mother and I) still don’t know what caused it because I didn’t lose a lot of weight, just X kilos.

I didn’t restrict but something else started: bingeing. And here is my problem, sweetie. I found, and I still do, get so much comfort through you. I was thinking about you all the time, even in holidays, in school, wherever. It gets a little better when I am busy but I still love you so much…

Now, I am much more aware about nutrition, especially gentle nutrition… I eat when I am hungry but sometimes, and it is still very often, I just don’t want to stop eating. And I know exactly why: when I am with you, this is my break from school, or a moment with a friend and family and I don’t want to get back to reality and to face my “responsibilities” (as a 15 years old teenager, of course). That’s why I binge on you. To be honest, I have only felt a few times the real feeling of “I cannot stop eating”: I couldn’t do anything and I would eat and eat and eat (processed sweet food that I usually don’t eat) and then feel so bloated, having heart palpitations and being mentally down. I really don’t know how to heal from bingeing on you… The most stupid thing in all of that is that I know why I binge on you and I am aware a lot of things about nutrition but I feel so trapped.. I know you don’t want to hurt me but I don’t know how to behave with you.

With love, hope it will get better between us

(I apologize by advance if there are some mistakes: I am french :)) 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

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